What men understand as romance will in most cases be something totally different than what women understand as romance. Most of you are saying “tell me something I don’t know”.

Romance is an important part of the female make-up, where most guys don’t have high romantic needs, our wives do. In fact God created her with a built-in need for romance. And guess who He created to meet those needs? So even if romance may not be a high priority for most of us guys, we need to make an effort to meet her romantic needs.

Remember those vows you spoke on your wedding day? The one that I think most of us guys needs to focus more on, especially as we are married longer, is the one “to cherish”. To cherish our wives is to know what makes her tick, not just what ticks her off, but what tickles her fancy. Then take that knowledge and experience and sacrificially love her. Yes, sometimes that means romancing her. But it isn’t as bad as it sounds guys. In John Eldridge’s book, Wild at Heart, he wrote “You were created in the image of God as a man. He intentionally gave you a passionate, wild heart, and He invites to live out what He meant it to be…a man who’s dangerous in a really good way. Your nature is hardwired with the desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.”

It would be nice if romancing our wives was as simple as flowers, chocolates, dinner and the right movie but reality is that each woman has unique, individual likes and dislikes. A particular romantic gift or dream date may make one woman’s knees buckle but another woman may see it as a waste of money or a dream date nightmare. If you want to make your wife feel loved and romanced then communicate your love in a way that she will first of all understand but even better, will appreciate.

If you treat romance as an isolated event, instead of a way of life, then it may never mean as much. But if you consistently try to make your wife feel treasured and special, every romantic moment will be like a part of a beautiful picture. Each romantic moment is another brush stroke in your marriage picture. This picture will tell your wife that she is cherished (there’s that word) and that your marriage is a real and important priority in your life.

I’m sure you have heard the expression “check your attitude at the door”. Well, when it comes to genuine romance, our motivation needs to be in the right place. Putting it bluntly, romance is not all about the desired end result which for most would be sex. If you approach romance from an “it’s all about me” perspective, then you are heading down a dead end street. Our focus should be about what we are willing to give and not about what we want to get.

A strong and healthy marriage relationship impacts more than you and your wife, it impacts your kids too. Your strong, healthy, romantic relationship gives them the security of knowing that mom and dad aren’t going to go away. It will show and teach your sons how to treat a woman. It sets the standards for your daughters and encourages them to only settle for a guy who treats them right, like dad treated mom. How you romance your wife is a critical part of the heritage you give to your children.

A great marriage just doesn’t happen. A great marriage is not something that can wait until later either. A great marriage is made up of a lot of great big events, but it’s made up of a lot more great small events. So if you looking for where and when to start then I say start small and start today.

From someone who really does care.